Some say the key to wellness is reducing calories, while others say exercise is the key. Both are important, but the key to health is controlling negative thoughts. A positive outlook and a can-do attitude work wonders on your body and soul. It has in my case! By doing three simple things, I have shed half my body weight and a lot of mental baggage in the past three years.
1. Stop Negative Talk. The first thing you should do when striving to get well and be a better leader is stop the negative talk. Strive to replace the words can’t do with can do. Also, refrain from the practice of “worst casting.” The racing voice inside your head blows the simplest setback into a full-fledged downward spiral. Here is an example of thoughts in my head before I learned how to tackle it.
“This project is not going well. But I am the only one that can do it. I must work until 10 p.m. to pull it out, or it will not get done. I am so tired. I need some energy. But if I take a break, I will never pull it out. And then everyone will come after me. How can I get some energy to keep going? Grab a cup full of peanut M&M’s and another cup of coffee, and I will make it. I am still too tired, but worth a shot”.
This, my friends, is how I gained over 80 lbs. in less than a year and lost my mental health. I worst cast myself into misery and weight gain! I reveled in being the Iron Man who could beat Murphy and stop disaster from coming down upon us. But in truth, Murphy’s law (Everything that may go wrong will go wrong) was not in play. Instead, I was both a pessimist and an arrogant leader, not trusting the team’s collective wisdom. It was only when I had faith in myself, a clear realization of the situation, and the belief in my team that I could break the cycle of worst casting.
So here is how the voice in my head is now. “The project is having some problems, but we can tackle them. But I am still so tired. I will call up my team to see if they have some ideas. Then I will take a walk and clear my head. We will then be able to solve this tomorrow. [Don takes a walk]. I came up with three ideas that will solve this by leveraging the ideas from my team. I am energized. I write an email, set the plan for tomorrow, and go to bed!”
See the difference. When I let the negative talk dominate, I worst cast myself into eating M&M’s, suffering mental anguish, losing sleep, and not engaging my team. I could still overcome Murphy’s Law because it was not really in play! When I stepped back and stopped the negative thoughts, I exercised, engaged my team, got some sleep, and devised a better solution with a clear head. The first rule to wellness and leadership is to stop the negative thoughts in your head.
2. Take a Walk. I already alluded to this in rule 1. When your mind is racing, and you are feeling stressed, don’t reach for a Whataburger – take a walk! Preferably outside. It will do three things for you. First, it will calm you down. Especially if you are out in nature and hear birds singing and smell the flowers. Second, it will allow you to catch up with your thoughts and combine them coherently. Listen to a relevant audiobook. I cannot tell you how often I solved the latest problem or developed a blog story. Third, it will allow you to capture ideas in a less rushed manner. Nearly half of my blogs and many of my work solutions start similarly. I am walking around Town Lake listening to a self-help or sometimes a philosophy book. An idea or a solution pops into my head. I press the button on my iPhone and say Siri Take Note. Then, I record the concept and use it when I get home. It is a great way to solve problems and write great blogs (and often to scare the person walking beside you!).
3. Be Kind. KINDNESS is a key tool to defeat negative talk, work inefficiency, and weight gain. Be kind to yourself. You are doing the best you can. Be kind to others. Often, they are doing their best; if not, you need to help them achieve their potential. I will not lie to you. Kindness is something I am still working on. It is hard to tackle 50-some years of being a driver and a bit of curmudgeon. But often, you can kill the problem with kindness. And shed the weight by being kind to yourself as you move to a healthier you.
